TIRED!!

Numb. Anxious. Angry. Scared. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. TIRED.

My lower back hurts. My heart is full of sadness. My stomach is full of tension. Nauseous!

No amount of acupuncture, yoga, exercise, or meditation is helping me.

I grew up in Philadelphia during the 80's and 90's. The elementary and middle schools I attended were filled with black students and teachers. Our teachers that taught us to be proud, educated and black. We read and learned about African-American history, art, literature, and culture. Our grades were separated into houses named after historical Black figures. We were taught that we would have to work harder and smarter than our "white counterparts." It wasn't because we were not intelligent or lacked character. We would be seen as less than, due our ethnicity and socio - economic class. We watched shows such as A Different World, The Cosby Show, Martin, Good Times, The Jefferson, Moesha, Smart Guy, Family Matter and Sister, Sister. All of these shows depicted us, Black Americans, just living in America. So, when did it become wrong to be proud of our culture?

"Riots??" Haven't we been here before? 1992, Rodney King. "Can't we just get along?" 2020, George Floyd. 1955, Emmitt Till. 2020, Amy Cooper, filed a false police report on a black man. Wait, the 1960's. Only 60 years ago. History is repeating itself. If you don't learn from history, what happens? It's doomed to repeat itself.

Continuous attacks on black bodies without a conscious thought. Using the lives of Black people to promote political agendas. A call by a US president to kill US citizens. Where was that energy when privileged people were marching to our capitals with assault rifles and rocket launchers demanding haircuts, and ice cream? So, now, it's acceptable to threaten Congress members with weapons and violence. Wow!

Throughout America's history, there were numerous "revolts," such as The Boston Tea Party and The New York Draft Riots, in the pursuit of freedom. The "leaders" of these revolts are considered American heroes. But, the energy towards black people is different. Black people are described as rioters, gangs, gangsters, and troublemakers. All Lives Matter until the privileged are inconvenienced. Y'all couldn't even wear a mask to protect the public. Politicians offered up our elders as though they were tributes of The Hunger Games. Yelling "I can't breathe!" Well, neither could Eric Garner or George Floyd.

African-Americans are asking equality. The ability to live freely without the threat of violence upon our lives. Equality in conviction rates and sentencing rates. There are numerous black people condemned to serving life in jail for selling Marijuana, but it's, now, sold in Herb Dispensaries for "medicinal use." Our children are more likely to be suspended and/or arrested (Thanks, Florida) for mental illnesses, behaviors due traumatic experiences, and appropriate child-age behaviors. We can't get one conviction, one investigation, or an arrest without the public unrest.

"Protest peacefully!" Kaepernick did, he was blackballed. Beyonce created Formation, y'all yelled politics don't belong at the Super bowl. Lebron James did, he was told to shut up and just dribble the ball. Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade did, they were told to stop complaining. The Double Standards!

Conversations with family, friends and co-workers are filled with words like, "Institutional and systemic racism, Voting, Looting in black communities, and while we don't agree with the looting, we understand. We are TIRED! Tired of being tired." Stop asking what Martin Luther King would have done. We don’t know what he could or would do because he was murdered in 1968. Start asking what you can do.

The Civil Right Movement was only 60 years ago. The politicians who were in office, then, created policies to discriminate and separate. Now, their children and grandchildren are in office. Those blatant and obvious racist policies may have been deemed unconstitutional. But, other policies were created to keep us out of the race. Make American Great Again meant take us back to the 50's when Black Americans knew our place.

How do we change? There is no obvious and absolute answer. But, telling a group that has been marginalized for centuries to comply, do not resist, or how to respond is not the answer. The entire system has to be dismantled and changed. Just voting during major elections is not the answer either. Both major political parties are using their "communities" to promote their agendas. And, we are losing in the process. Organizing and voting at the city and state level is a start. Vote on June 2nd!